Laughs and Listings: Using Humor Effectively in Real Estate

In this episode, the host Robbie English interviews Jamie Whitley, also known as ‘the funny real estate guy’, an experienced REALTOR and comedian from Texas. They discuss the delicate art of using humor effectively in real estate, and how it can aid interactions with clients, citing benefits such as creating connections, deescalating tension, and adding authenticity to transactions. Jamie shares his philosophy on listening, embracing uncomfortable situations, and giving oneself permission to fail. He also provides specific communication techniques and recommends improv classes to improve interpersonal communication.

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Guest Contact Information:

Jamey Whitley, REALTOR
Shilling Real Estate
https://shillingrealestate.com/jamey-whitley/

Robbie English (Host, The REALTEA with Robbie English) 0:00
Hey, y’all, I am thrilled to be joined by an awesome Texas real tour and an incredibly funny comedian. Or you may know him as the funny real estate guy. I’ve had the brilliant opportunity to get to know him over the last couple of years. And I’m so thankful that he’s joining us. Hey, Jamie, going? Good. How are you doing really good. Thank you for joining me to tackle this topic of using humor appropriately in real estate. Oh, I’m really shy. I’m a very shy individual. So pick a lot to work me up to do this. But think I’m ready. Some of us aren’t comedians, and people like me. They use humor when things get to seriously. And oftentimes I’ll crack a joke. And sometimes it misses the mark. So it doesn’t work for me always. Will.

Jamey Whitley, REALTOR 0:51
II and I think when people try to be funny, typically they’re not. I had to remind myself that too, because a lot of times we try to, we just try too hard. It’s also a big reason why I don’t do stand up, I just do improv comedy. Right? They end up because I feel like if I’m trying to be funny, I’m not going to be funny. Bertha, myself is kind of reactional. This what I do, it gets a little serious, and I want to crack a joke. And it’s usually that self deprecating humor, and yeah, sometimes it works. And they laugh, and sometimes it’s like, but um,

Jamey Whitley, REALTOR 1:25
that’s one thing I really liked in comedy. I liked the part of failing, I liked knowing where my limits were. And you don’t really get to that point, unless you give yourself permission to be funny, you know what I mean? So you kind of have to give yourself permission to fail, you’re going to find your timing, you’re going to find out what works, what doesn’t work. And a lot of it’s really just knowing your audience, really knowing who your client is, and no one who the other agent is in knowing what you can say, and what’s what you don’t need to probably say,

Robbie English (Host, The REALTEA with Robbie English) 1:54
because the real estate transactions, pretty darn serious transaction. And sometimes it’s a little overwhelming for people. And it’s like you need something to de escalate some craziness that happens when

Jamey Whitley, REALTOR 2:07
I think if you take yourself too seriously, it becomes not fun. And so you have to always make sure this is fine. And I think my message to anybody who doesn’t have fun doing this, please get out. Right?

Robbie English (Host, The REALTEA with Robbie English) 2:20
Yeah. Because it’s like the going downstream, like I talked about in class, sometimes it’s like, if they’re not working with you, then it just makes every day laborious and crazy. And you being able to use humor, and often times probably a little bit more safe because you you know what lands Well, and what doesn’t better than somebody like me who’s just like, Okay, I gotta like, calm things down here. And I know that humor can be a valuable tool, what are the benefits of using it effectively, really, instead of somebody who just throws it in to just kind of try and lighten the mood, I think when it’s

Jamey Whitley, REALTOR 2:57
done effectively, you’re also be able to be more genuine, and write water problems that allows you to kind of sell yourself a little bit more as well. A lot of times, too, if you’re trying to be funny here, you’re not really putting yourself out there, you’re also you’re kind of being I think sometimes we try to do it too much, we’re almost kind of come across fake. So it’s great to kind of be a Sidon version of yourself. And that’s how a lot of time it’s used to do an improv comedy. And, and I don’t know if people will know the difference in that it’s kind of doing, like, Whose Line Is It Anyway? Yeah, we’re basically doing a suggestion and we’re making stuff up on the spot. But we’re really want to see is they want us to connect in us being able to connect is me being a heightened version of who I already am on stage. So I think you kind of first have to know who you are, know what your personality type is, and then just ramp it up. That’s all it is. So

Jamey Whitley, REALTOR 3:47
you’re telling me we have to self reflect, we have to know who we all are? Okay, that’s a little scary there. Thanks for that. Okay, out here, if

Jamey Whitley, REALTOR 3:57
you were laid out and take notes and write I know

Robbie English (Host, The REALTEA with Robbie English) 3:59
in them bill me for this session, you know, a therapy that we’re going to be in for like, a long time because, yeah, it’s hard to sometimes use it effectively or even as a valuable tool. But you know, it does stressful in that real estate transaction overall, in people just kind of sit there and they don’t know what to do. And I don’t mind having a little bit of silence. You know, I’m, I’m good with the uncomfortable silence. But sometimes people aren’t, and it just makes them even more on the edge. Well, I

Jamey Whitley, REALTOR 4:32
think that’s one thing we have to tackle because, I mean, if we weren’t negotiating, and I just go quiet, you’re more likely to talk because I just made it awkward. And I think we can never that into not just knowing those things, but we have to embrace the awkwardness. You know where to be not afraid to be uncomfortable and a lot of times and no silence who’s going to be in control of that void? If we try to start talking, a lot of times we’re gonna say things we don’t really probably need to say or give away some type of mode. ovation, and we’re just trying to be funny and just trying to be loose. But really, we protect our client. So I think sometimes it’s better to also just listen. Because also, I mean, listen, it’s hard to be funny if you’re not going off something, if you’re not jumping off something. So a lot of times one of the biggest elements of being funny is listening. So you have to avoid to see what the other person’s gonna say. And yeah, and that’s not just from being funny. That’s Justin, good communication. Communication, one on one. Gotcha.

Robbie English (Host, The REALTEA with Robbie English) 5:31
Well, that does help. It seems like people get offended today over just about anything. And how do we use humor without really offending anybody or alienating especially our clients? Because if we’re sitting there trying to make it a little bit lighter, or make them feel a little bit more comfortable, or even the other agent, because sometimes with them in

Jamey Whitley, REALTOR 5:52
this, a lot of times I’m just listening or being aware of a situation I mean, how many times a week go on Surely he’s a something just, you know, really obscene happens. I mean, I remember one time walking up to a door to their to a lockbox. And I look down, and the doorknob is on the ground. But the lockboxes tied to it didn’t really make any sense. But there was, you know, there was some fun there to be had. And it’s a lot of it’s just reacting and not trying to have a preconceived notion of what you want to say. Like, I mean, think about how many times we may do an open house, and we have this fun joke for everybody to cut that comes in, we’re gonna say this fun thing. Well, if you have something preconceived in your mind, it may not fit who’s coming in the door, right or left or went off. So it’s always kind of better to just like in that situation, let people come to you. And listen to them, because they’re the most important person in the room, and then react off that play off their cues, play off their cues, play off their emotions. I mean, a lot of times, see, you have to, you have to read subtext, you have to read body language in to really know if it’s going to be receptive or not.

Robbie English (Host, The REALTEA with Robbie English) 7:07
Sounds like we need some coaching on that as well. It sounds like Mr. Ridley, I mean, come on. What about specific communication techniques and strategies, I mean, there’s gotta be something out there that can help us incorporate some humor, to do it without getting in trouble with always not having to remember those HUD words to avoid, although that is great advice. And I need to like print that out myself. And make sure that I’ve got it, though, what about, you know, specific techniques you’ve talked about, sometimes it is appropriate to kind of go quiet, because it will cause someone maybe to show their cards or even talk more.

Jamey Whitley, REALTOR 7:44
I think, really, he really goes back to listening. I think that’s the most important of all of this, because everybody wants to be heard. And if you’re trying to be funny, you’re listening, well, then you’re telling your client or you’re telling whoever, that what I have to say is more important than what you’re saying. But if I’m listening to you, I’m taking in what you’re saying. But at the same time, we’re connecting them, because I’m listening to you, we’re forming a connection, that will you can tell that I’m listening to you. So then when I crack the joke, it’s more likely to or if I just say something reacting to just making it more of a fun scenario. I think, really, that’s what it is. It’s more just have fun. You know, don’t try to necessarily be funny, but just have fun. It’s going to happen, I promise. I tell people, it’s a lot of times when I teach improv classes, the funny will find you. But if you’re not you find you. But in order for the funny to find you, you have to listen, because it’s going to be right in front of you. If you listen.

Robbie English (Host, The REALTEA with Robbie English) 8:44
Yeah, has having a comedian background helped you with real estate? Oh,

Jamey Whitley, REALTOR 8:49
tremendously, you know, definitely my first year real estate, a lot of bad things happened. I learned a lot of things the hard way. So it helps to be able to just be able to laugh at those things. After the fact, there was an instance where, and this is right when COVID hit is I’ve ever shown this couple of house the day everything will walk down. client was a doctor by another doctor’s house, they had fought over the option period really bad. It was just you know, one doctor, and we had probably the pool so that the seller was like well, I worked at a pool place all the way through med school. So of course, you’re doing one of those situations. On the other side, I’m dealing with an agent who’s been doing this for a very, very long time, did it you know, I’m dealing with other agents until we get to negotiations and the option and all that. And even though I don’t like to have fun, I also don’t like to be walked on. And so it was a situation where I felt like I was kind of being taken advantage of or being a newer agent. So, you know, I kind of smartly back a little bit let them know they’re not gonna be able to just walk all over me. So if Export, you know, about 30 days typical transaction. And I’m asking the lender about the appraisal when it’s going to be in because we’re about to close. He’s like, Oh, well, you know, everything going on October, and now they’re doing drive by appraisals, it’s coming, it’s coming. Well, after three days, I showed up to his office that morning when he got when he pulled up the word. And I said, Where’s the appraisal? I said, Do you ever heard one did you? So, so because I’m quick on my feet. And also knowing I’m about to eat a lot of Crow, I found out what his favorite flavor of wine was, went to the grocery store, picked up two bottles of wine, because here’s the great part. She also own a mortgage company. Oh, so I walked into two bottles of wine and told her what happened, is it why don’t we switch over to your mortgage? So?

Jamey Whitley, REALTOR 10:48
Oh, good idea. Yeah. Because he could probably get it through underwriting while they were sitting there waiting on that appraisal come back.

Jamey Whitley, REALTOR 10:58
So it was, you know, that kind of situation, you had to be quick on your feet to kind of turn things, you know, in a normal setting. You know, if I hadn’t had my county experience, I probably would just sat there and cried in a corner and sucked my thumb not knowing what to do. But instead, I tackle the situation head on. And, and that’s kind of like when when roll or improv is you have to commit, and you have to attack the stage like a bowl. That’s what they used to say, John Belushi was so good at when he was on, he would just go so I could have, you know, sat there and just in poor pitiful me where I could have just taken, you know, the bull by the horns and took charge. And in that got it done. Yeah, it wasn’t really a funny situation was the one one level where that helps help that. Yeah,

Robbie English (Host, The REALTEA with Robbie English) 11:44
I mean, it’s thinking on your feet, and I didn’t ever I’ve never thought until now an improv class would definitely help you with being able to handle those obstacles to come because a lot of people don’t know what to do just standing on their feet. You know, where do we go? What do we do right now? Oh, no, I

Jamey Whitley, REALTOR 12:02
really recommend it. And that’s the thing because it’s just an improv comedy. Anybody can do improv comedy. Because all you’re really doing, and people like to think that I have to be funny first, but like I’m saying, don’t try to be funny. The funny will come. If you’re listening. If you’re, if you have trust in everyone that you’re working with, and then give and take, that’s another one. But that’s that’s all communication. 101. Right? You know, because if I sit here, and I just talk the whole time through the podcast, and you don’t have a chance to ask any questions, our podcast is gonna suck. So I have to give you time to talk, you’re giving me time to talk. We’re both listening to each other. And we’re building a ball and building a connection. And that’s going to help us in every aspect of life. And a lot of it to people can in I highly recommend somebody take an improv class, you can do it almost kind of anywhere. If you don’t, if you’re somewhere like in, you know, mixing Texas, that’s population 30 people, you know, I’m sure you go to a grocery store and you interact with cashiers, or I know a lot of times, that’s how I got into comedy. My dad was a teacher, my whole life. And so I couldn’t be the class clown. But I became the biggest flirt. And so I would make my friends laugh by flirting with just whoever flirted with janitor. You know, stuff like that. Just just to get a laugh, just get a ruse out of people. But then I started realizing, you know, everybody’s got an interaction. And honestly, the very first listing ever got no joke. My wife, one time we were dating went to Walmart. And this was right after one of the really bad Walmart shootings that happened. So there was a police officer, a city police officer, by the door by the greeter and who actually knew. And he was like, Hey, Jamie, what’s going on? I’m like, Hey, Ryan, I’m in real estate. Why don’t you sell your house? Okay. And that was just me being trying to be funny. Me. And just trying to have fun. And it turned out to be that happened a serious situation. Yeah. So I think he’s just trying to just have fun, you know, just like Ferris Bueller says, life is actually pretty fast. So you’re gonna throw look around for a while it’s gonna pass you by. Right? You know, we kind of have to have fun every day and just have fun with people. And it’s going to comedy, we’ll have have no doubt.

Robbie English (Host, The REALTEA with Robbie English) 14:28
Yeah, because we’re dealing with a lot of stress on an everyday basis. You know this more than anybody. And I’ve talked with you with some of the transactions that you’ve been going through and how you’ve kind of negotiated the win for your client and everything and we’re always having to think on our feet. And just to be able to add that level of humor would make it a little bit easier, and knowing how to add it appropriately because we do have some crazy situations that humor probably isn’t appropriate. But at the same time, it does kind of, I do like to have fun, it gets boring if you don’t have fun with it. And I always tell people where you’re going to have fun, but we’re going to make sure that we understand that we are dealing with something serious. And I tried to preface that because, you know, I’ve always been casual with showing property, you know, flip flops and shorts, pretty much. I mean, it’s Texas, our family.

Jamey Whitley, REALTOR 15:28
I’m the same way.

Robbie English (Host, The REALTEA with Robbie English) 15:28
Yeah. Any other advice that you got other than taking an improv class? Because I know there’s going to be realtors out there listening and real estate agents that are just slammed just, I don’t like the stage. I don’t like all eyes on me. But I can see how

Jamey Whitley, REALTOR 15:45
this would help me? Well, I think that’s that’s where you have to give yourself permission to fail. And yeah, give yourself permission to be uncomfortable. Because also, there’s other people in an improv class, that’s people that need buy house, then you can write off your class.

Robbie English (Host, The REALTEA with Robbie English) 16:00
So it’s networking too. So that that gives you the ability to do some networking as well. Well,

Jamey Whitley, REALTOR 16:06
and I think in going back to when I first took improv classes, it was people that just wanted to get out and just get out of their shell and become more of an extrovert if they were an introvert. You know, I remember, when I went to Dallas and took a class, there was a guy there that was high up for the Dallas Stars, he wasn’t gonna do comedy, he was just there. So he can be better interpersonal communication, better his meetings, and I am a licensed time, but I wish I had kept his information. Right. So there’s, there’s always, there’s always going to be something that comes from it, if you just take that step and go out there, you’re never gonna just walk out and be in a stage in, there’ll be nothing there, something’s going to happen if you just get the Wiltern. And I feel like that’s what’s helped me most in real estate is I feel like when I’m just starting to make contacts, I’m starting to call people once that that action just creates more action and creates momentum. So you never know what’s going to happen if you’re, you have to embrace the unexpected.

Robbie English (Host, The REALTEA with Robbie English) 17:04
Embrace the unexpected, that’s really, really good. Because we are living in a society that seems to be hiding behind their devices, we’re always looking at our devices, we’ve got earbuds in or some kind of, you know, ear pods, something. And we’re always kind of focused down and moving forward. And it makes it very hard to connect with people. You’re even giving me more ideas on how an improv class can even help new agents who are looking for that way to connect. And I said I’d never even thought of before talking today. I mean, this is like, really throwing some insight on some of those abilities that we’re always looking for, no matter how long we’ve been in the business, how can we interact during get these people from behind their devices to communicating with us what I think

Jamey Whitley, REALTOR 17:55
and not just that, even for agents who’ve been doing this for 3040 years, but it allows them to have fun again. And that’s that’s the one we have to be remembered of this is supposed to be fun. And that’s how we combat the stress. If we’re stressed all the time, and we’re just an asshole all the time, we’re going to be like that to our clients, we’re going to be like that to other agents. And we’re not fun to work with. It just makes it bad for everybody. And you want to be someone that’s fun to work with. So that you know that like today I made an offer. And the agent knew I was I’m always fighting with other agents whenever I submitted an offer or call to ask if they have their work anything on it. I try to be as being as positive and fun as possible, because I went into it to work with me. And I feel like that has given me an advantage a lot of times, especially in the last few years. If it’s two offers, and we’re super close, and the other ones just to stick in the mud, and here I am positive and looking for a win win for everybody. I feel like they probably don’t have it’s probably not a good idea to go ahead and take this one. The other agents Gray, but I feel like they subconsciously they’re more gravitated to take the offer.

Robbie English (Host, The REALTEA with Robbie English) 19:05
That’s that’s a good point. Yeah, and I hope connection to and having humor is a need more humor. And I do there’s a difference, I guess, between laugh lines and wrinkles, and maybe I need more laugh lines and lettering. Yeah,

Jamey Whitley, REALTOR 19:22
Steve Martin said comedy is making someone laugh so hard. They don’t puke. So you’re trying to find that limit of your, you know, you’re not making them cute. But there’s a line essentially, is what he was kind of saying. And I think but I think we can’t take ourselves too seriously. We have to give ourselves permission to be uncomfortable or to fail, or really embarrass ourselves because we’re going to learn from that. And listening. I mean, if we’re listening to other people, we’re reacting to them. We’re connecting with them. And the more that we connect with people, the more they’re going to want to do business with us. Right? So it’s not just so much about trying to be funny. It Incorporating these skills that open the door for you to either be funny or just make a connection. Wow. Sorry I made him do it later. I also got my note pass.

Robbie English (Host, The REALTEA with Robbie English) 20:13
I do I do and I need an improv class because yeah, I think it would help me in class too because Yeah. Jamie if everybody wants to reach out to you and find out more about real estate in the greater Tyler area or you know how to become you know, the next best comedian what’s what’s the best way that they can contact you?

Jamey Whitley, REALTOR 20:34
Luckily, I have one of those names that’s not uncommon.

Robbie English (Host, The REALTEA with Robbie English) 20:37
Haha, I like that in so

Jamey Whitley, REALTOR 20:41
you know, you can search for me pretty much all the social media social pages. Jamie Whitley with an EY on Tik Tok. I’m the funny real estate guy on Instagram depending on the day I have the handle the funny real estate guy or the Jamie Whitley I know everybody just got that. So I think the last would be in the show notes as well. Yeah, they are

Robbie English (Host, The REALTEA with Robbie English) 21:05
going to be because you said shipping and people went like what? That was so quick. I was still on the Tiktok aspect we got we’re gonna have Jamie’s contact information down below. So make sure you check him out. And if you’re looking for a great real tour in the greater Tyler area. Jamie’s your guy. Thank you for tuning in to this episode. We’re dropping a new episode every Sunday at 12 noon central. We’d love your support for the real tea with Robbie English (Host, The REALTEA with Robbie English). Please do us a favor and leave us a review on Apple podcasts. It only takes a couple of seconds and it really does help us out. Also, be sure to share it with your colleagues and friends. Until next time, we hope you have a profitable and productive week.